Wow...it has been a long time since I have written here. i often stop by late at night when R is out of town and sleep evades me...I quietly catch up with some of you here...somewhere in the shadows.

Life has been the usual whirlwind and I have recently found myself needing to step back and breathe. I went to visit an old friend recently...I needed some grown up time and a breather from the day to day routine that sometimes seems to swallow me whole. It was a good trip although I must admit...that as much as I enjoyed my alone time I did miss this craziness that has become home.

Going from a single working Momma of 1 to a stay at home Momma to the "masses" has been a continuing adjustment. Every day brings something new with it...every day is a new "adventure".

When I left to go on my soul vacation...i found myself calling R a million times a day and night. Not sure why I was so worried..he does a great job with the kids and the house, but in some way I didn't want to think he could survive without me. Yes, I know...arrogant to believe the world can't function without my assistance.

The youngest cried when I left...the others well, they just wondered if I would bring back anything cool for them. Somehow these kiddos believe that a long weekend away for me should equate to expensive gifts for them. Go figure...nothing like feeling loved huh?

Upon my return R did look a bit frazzled...I secretly smiled on the inside. I kinda wanted him to know how much work goes into the kids...my daughter and his sons have been easier to handle...it has been the nephews who have truly been testing my parenting skills..and though I remind myself daily that before they came to be with us they never really knew what a family was...or had boundaries..and they aren't bad kids...they just keep me on my toes.

The house was still standing...there was some type of whacked out tree house in the making in the back yard...and apparently the washing machine must not have been working for 5 days as the laundry room almost exploded upon entry...and yes, I did secretly wonder if they had pizza for breakfast, lunch and dinner every day...but regardless...there they were in all their "glory" standing neatly groomed with hugs and smiles...and i realized that I was glad I took my "me" vacation, but was truly glad to come home. It's just simply where I belong even though some days I want to retreat to the dog kennel and hang out with him...

All is well here...crazy, but I have started to realize that crazy is simply our normal. And each and every day I figure out another piece of this life I somehow danced upon....it may require some valium (kidding) but all in all....it's good.

Hope everyone out there on the Stream is well...Happy Easter everyone.


AM