So the story continues....

I called the "snake man" that Animal Control so eagerly referred me to. He seemed nice enough on the phone as I described my dilemma. He had a strong southern accent and seemed to be a man of few words. He informed me that he could be at the house within the hour. I breathed a sigh of relief and me and the kids waited for the snake man.

He pulled up into the driveway in an old beat up truck. I could make out what most likely used to be the snake mans company logo on the side of the Chevy relic. He stepped out of the truck and this is what my eyes behold...kid you not. He's an older man, wearing a pair of overalls that appeared to have seen many "adventures", he's carrying a few contraptions I have never seen, and he walked with an oddly slow gait.

I am thinking..."What the Hell did I just get myself into?"

I introduce myself to the kind man. He smiles and the kids stare at him as if they have never laid eyes on a human being before. I give them the "It ain't polite to STARE look" but they don't stop.

I took him around back to the deck area where we last saw the culprit. He walked around the deck area and the house. He doesn't say anything to me, but appeared to be saying a whole lot to himself.
He finally takes a flashlight out of his bag of tricks and gets down on his hands and knees and starts to crawl under the deck.

This evokes horror in me for some reason. I asked him what he was doing? He looked up at me and smiled and said in a calm tone, “I’m going to look for the snake."

As he disappeared under the deck I have feelings of panic. They are honestly selfish feelings. We have a huge deck and all the new home construction around us has probably driven many critters to reside under my deck. I have visuals of him being attacked by some wild thing and myself having to crawl under there to drag him out.

He is under there for a long while. If it were not for the few noises he makes now and again I wouldn't know if he was alive or dead. When he finally makes his exit I am relieved.

Snake Man: "He isn't under there"

He scratches his head and proceeds to look around the house. I am thinkin "Crap! The damn thing got away!"

Snake man goes out to his truck and returns with a large bag. He informs me that the bag contains something he can place around the house and deck area that will drive the snake out. He proceeds to sprinkle the magical white snake repellent around the yard and deck area. For all I know the guys is sprinklin Colombian gold around my house.

When he's done with his "task" I ask him how long it will take to drive the snake out. He shrugs his shoulders and tells me it could be right away or hours.

WHAT???

He informs me that he will wait. Again I say....WHAT? Wait? Hours? Days? Do I go make up the guest room?

He grabs a chair off the deck and takes it down into the yard...where he proceeds to commence the snake "wait". I don't know what to do. Snake man is making himself cozy in my backyard, by this time half the neighborhood kids have arrived to take a gander at the odd man. So, I do what anyone would do...I go make lemonade. Might as well offer up a little refreshment for the man.

While inside "R" calls. He's out of town for business. I explain the whole story. He is quiet for a moment.

R: So, AM let me get this straight. You saw a snake, called some snake guy, who put weird powder around our house and is now hanging out with our kids in the backyard while you make some lemonade?

AM: Yep, pretty much.

R: And how much does snake man charge?

AM: Don’t know. Didn't really ask.

R:

AM: I can handle this honey. Don't worry.

I know he's thinking, "God I leave the woman alone for a few days and look what happens."

I hang up knowing that when he returns I shall never ever ever live this debacle down. For some reason I don't care.

Two hours freaking later....guess what?? No snake. Apparently my snake is immune to the magical white voodoo snake drawing out powder.

I feel stupid. Snake man informs me that it could take longer. That I should just wait and give him a call back if it comes out. I am kicking my own ass in my head. Might as well get it over with before R does it.

As I write the 200.00 check to snake man I can only think this:

A) The snake is still here
B) I just paid snake man 200 bucks to entertain the kids
C) I hope that white powder doesn't draw out every living thing in my yard
D) OH GAWD R is going to kill me for this one.

Snake man leaves. I feel a sense of defeat. So here it is Friday. Still no snake...R will be home in a few hours....and I fear I have learned another lesson about my overreacting side. It was an expensive lesson...but on some level enjoyable.

Hopefully our snake has taken up residence somewhere else...like South America.

And that is that...

Hope everyone has a great weekend. Take care out there..and if you see our family snake or the snake man give them my best.

AM