Some days I just don't want to be a grown up.

I woke up in a "mood" this morning. Maybe it was the weather or perhaps I simply woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I don't know. All I do know is that I'm in a crappy state of mind.

I am working at home today but have no desire to actually work. Work just seems overrated today. I'm sure my boss doesn't really need anything done by days end.

The freaking mountains of laundry are calling my name and I am totally ignoring it. It should be calling someone else's name I have decided.

I didn't even attempt to clean up the breakfast dishes today...pretty soon they are going to start "talking" to me too. Are dishes recyclable?

I am supposed to be finalizing plans and arrangements for the Thanksgiving fiasco that awaits me next week. Yet, all I can manage to do is think of all the people in my life I could torment with the turkey. Maybe it would be safer if I just make burgers?

I am also supposed to be going through our weekend schedules. Apparently it is my "duty" to organize the five zillion events my family has between now and FOREVER. I'm seriously thinking about just saying, "No."

I am also supposed to be contemplating yet another serious talk R and I had last night. Yet, I am seriously thinking about calling him up and singing, "Jimmy crack corn and I don't care!"

I am supposed to call perky decorator lady from the pits of Hell and finalize her "schedule" before the holidays. And I ain't gonna do it today. Her perkiness would be enough to push me over the edge I am certain. And I may be dumb, but I ain't got no death wish.

Should be thinking about what I am going to feed the Tribe for dinner. Would it kill them to miss a meal? Just kidding...not really..yes, I am. Pizza Hut delivers right?

And last but not least I should be returning phone calls from my Mother, Sister-In-Law, Aunt, and all the other family members that keep dialing my digits. I could probably handle that if it was 5 PM and I had some wine in hand. Besides I love the way my phone lights up when it rings and it makes me feel important to hear that beep that informs me I have yet ANOTHER voice mail.

So, there you have it folks. I am having a "mood" day. I should just go sit in a dark closet until it passes. Yet, they would find me there. Maybe I should just go sit outside and hope this wind storm we are having will blow me away like Dorothy. I am certain the munchkins would cheer me up. Nothing a little Lollipop Gang couldn’t cure.

I am sure the mood will pass....if those around me are lucky enough. if I sound bitter today...I am. Some days I just don't want to be a grown up.

AM

Well we're back...and I am writing this...so I guess I survived. At least I have that going for me on a Monday.

Overall it was a great trip. I thought I would share some family quotes with ya'll today. Here are some of the most frequent (my kids love repetition) quotes we heard (over and over) from our beautiful children.

"Are we there yet?"

"How big is Texas?"

"Stop touching me!"

"He's on my side of the seat!"

"I have to pee!"

"I'm hungry!"

"I don't want to watch that movie!"

"Quit looking at me!"

"I'm not tired!"

"I said, Quit looking at me!"

"Are we still in Texas?"

"I don't want to sit here anymore!"

"I didn't spill that drink!"

“He’s wiping boogers on me!”

"When are we going to be there?"

"We need more napkins!"

"I'm sooooo not peeing at that gas station!"

You get the idea now right? Here are a few quotes R and I said over and over in response to them.

"No we aren't there yet. We'll tell you when we are there."

"We're still not there yet!"

"WE'RE NEVER GOING TO BE THERE!"

"Texas is big. Very big. Pay more attention in geography class."

"Keep your hands to yourself!"

"Keep your feet to yourself!"

"If you touch him one more time I swear I'm pulling over this car!"

"Don't make me pull over this car!"

"I'm soooo pulling this car over!"

"Stay in your freaking seat! Put that seat belt back on!"

"Sit your butt down! The seat belt is not a weapon! You are NOT a freaking Ninja!"

"I told you to pee when we stopped five miles ago!"

"You're just gonna have to hold it!"

"We just ate!"

"My God we're raising human garbage disposals!"

"NO MORE SNACKS...EVER!!"

"Just watch the movie or entertain yourself in your mind!"

"Who wants to play the Quiet Game?"

"If you look at her one more time so help me God!"

"Keep your eyes to yourself!"

"NOBODY LOOK AT ANYBODY YOU HEAR ME? NO MORE LOOKING!"

"If I say you are tired…. you're tired…. you hear me?"

"For the love of God go to sleep!"

"Next person who talks is grounded until they are 30!"

"Who spilled again? Hello? I am asking you who spilled their drink again?"

"From now on it's sippy cups for all of you!"

"Don't wipe your nose on your neighbor!!"

"No one is opening a can of "Whoop Ass" on anyone!"

"Texas is as big as the world! We will be in this state until the end of freaking time!"

"Unless you wanna pee by the side of the road you better get over your high and mighty opinion of this restroom! For the love of God just pee already!"

"Next person who wipes ANYTHING on the person next to them is riding up with the luggage!"

"I said quit touching your neighbor! Noses count as touching tools!"

"If you love me you will get me out of this car!"

I think you guys get the idea. By the time we arrived at our destination I had never been so happy to get out of a car! I practically leapt out and kissed the ground!


The time we spent out of the car was wonderful. A few little glitches and issues but nothing compared to the ride there and back.

I told R that the next time I agree to take a car trip I want him to just slap me! Slap me until I snap out of my delusion. I can still hear their little voices echoing in my head! Make it stop!

I think it will take several days and some good wine before I am fully recovered. There's no place like home....there's no place like home. Home is where you hang your heart...or where you leave your sanity when taking road trips with your family.

Happy Monday Ya'll! You know how much I "love" Mondays, but I find myself rather enjoying this one. I'm not in the car anymore and that my friends is a gift from God! Alleluia!

AM

It's Friday...and I am glad that the weekend is here...kinda.

We are taking the kids on a road trip today for a long weekend. This sounded like such a great idea a few weeks ago when we planned it. I must have been drinking that day.

I'm certain I believed in my delusional state of mind that 6 hours in the car would allow us all to "bond" and create memories. I am certain that I believed my little devils will actually be little angels whilst confined in the automobile. God, how do I get myself into these situations?

Just getting us all packed has been quite the undertaking. I was going to allow the older ones to pack themselves until I realized something very important last night. Apparently they do not think that clean underwear and matching clothes are a necessity when traveling. So, if I didn't want to spend the next few days with some stinky and "unfashionable" children I came to the conclusion I need to do it myself.

R loves road trips. I am more of a flying kind of girl. I think it comes from the millions of car trips I took with my family growing up. It was always an "adventure" and my father never wanted to stop the car. If you had to pee....you had to hold it until he needed gas or a smoke. I had to fight for space with my brothers who thought farting, poking at me, kicking me, teasing me and whatever else they could do to torture me was great fun!

So, I am having flashbacks to the car trips from Hell of my childhood. The Griswold’s come to mind. If you know what movie I am talking about you get an idea of why I am leery of road trips.


So, I am going to enjoy the next few hours of peace and quiet. Perhaps I shall go invest in some ear plugs or some heavy duty valium. Thank God for the portable DVD players. Perhaps that will keep the tribe occupied for a little while.

R just called a while ago. He's giddy. He loves this. I am trying to share in his excitement. I'm a great faker. Don't tell anyone.

I will be fine once we get to our final destination. It will be the 6 hours in the car there and back that might just have me losing my sanity at some rest stop in the middle of nowhere.


Hope ya'll have a great weekend. Take care out there and say a little prayer for me. Happy Friday!

AM

Pardon my French here...but it appears I am on the top of R's "Shit" List!

I am quite certain there are other people on the list too, but I apparently have the grace and wit to beat them all for the #1 spot!

It started out innocently enough I suppose. After we got through another hectic Monday evening and the kids were finally quiet and in bed he poured us some wine and said we should talk.

The mere words "We should talk" should have been my first clue that it was serious. Yet, we all know I am a slow learner. Perhaps I was tired from a long day, or maybe the peace and quiet was suddenly intoxicating? I don't know. All I DO know is that I fumbled the ball in this conversation.

We sat on the couch, and one look told me he was in a serious mood. He made a little small talk the way people do to warm up the conversation. And then my fall from grace commenced.

R: I know I have asked you a few times before, but I really want you to start thinking about a date for the wedding.

AM: *nods head*

R: I mean the year will be over before we know it and I think we should try and pin a date down don't you?

AM: Yes of course I do.

R: Well have you thought of any dates like I asked you?

AM: Honey, I don't know. I mean don't you think we should get through the holidays and then think about this?

R: No, not really. I guess you haven't given it much thought huh?

I hate the tone his voice takes. It's agitated and lower. His eyes are focused on the ground.

AM: It's just that so much has been going on and I haven't had the time to devote to it that it deserves. It's something I take seriously and don't want to rush.

I almost want to call Bull Shit on myself for saying that out loud. It's honest but it sounds like a cop out. I can tell from the look on his face he's thinking the same thing.

I proceed to list all the things that have been going on in our lives from A-Z as if he hasn't been aware of them or a part of it. Looking back I must have sounded like I was giving a presentation at work or something. After I finished my "list" he sat quiet for a minute.

R: Why don't we shoot for February?

AM: I don't know I was kind of thinking it would be better when it was a bit warmer here.

R: Ok, how about April?

AM: I don't know... maybe we should wait until the kids are out of school?

He puts his wine down on the coffee table and sighs. I hate sighs. I hate the disappointment I hear in his voice.

R: Hell, AM maybe we should wait until the elections in 2008? We can vote and get married on the same day? Or would that be too much at once too?

I bite my tongue. I count to ten in my head...in Spanish just so it takes a little longer for me.

AM: Honey, I think we should plan it for this summer or maybe the Fall. I mean are we in a rush?

R: No, Apparently "we" aren't in a rush. "We" means 2 people AM.

I try to smile at him and reach out to touch his shoulder. He pulls away from me. So much for a quiet night. Way to go AM! Someone give me a brownie button!

He then tells me that he thinks I am afraid. That he feels like I might be scared of the commitment. I get frustrated and start yipping back. I sound like a mad dog!

Is he crazy? I mean we were going to have a baby together! We sold our homes and bought one together! We decided to raise his two nephews together and both of our kids. I decided to cut back work to part-time so that I can be at home more with the 5 kids we are raising. And he thinks I'm scared of commitment?

So, do I realize that he is just worried about this and trying to talk to me about it? Do I realize that he isn't trying to put me on the defense? Do I realize that he's right we really should talk about a date and start planning it?

No.

No, instead I allow the long day to taint my feelings and emotions. They spew from me like a volcano. I am irritated and don't even really know why. He listens to my rant for a good 15 minutes.

Then he stands up.

R: Fine. I get it. You're too busy right now. I guess I was stupid for thinking you would be as excited as I am about this. No, I think you are right. We should wait until life is calm.

He looks around the room.

R: And I am sure with our life and the 5 kids and our freaking families that life will certainly be "calm" AM around 2015! I won't bring it up again ok? You just let me know when you want to talk about it.

He walks off. I can't even open my mouth before he's walking out of the room. I stand up and follow him to the bedroom.

AM: Honey where are you going?

R: I'm watching the game. I need some alone time AM.

He then closes the door and I hear the TV turn on. I stand in the dark hallway cursing myself.

Way to go AM! I am so bad at conversations sometimes. I think I have the word idiot flashing in lights on my forehead. I know he's not mad, but I do know that my inability to read him last night and realize his feelings was wrong. I am now on the "Shit List" and most likely truly deserve to be there.

So, all day I’ve been thinking about it. All day I have been feeling bad about it. I love him and can't stand when he's upset or hurt.

I want to marry him and he's right. I am scared...mostly of my own shadow, but scared. Yet, I'm not scared of R. I love him dearly. I think I am scared of my own failures and the thought of messing this one up. I just made an appointment with a wedding planner. I can't stay scared forever can I??

Some days I am a mess ya'll. And some days I am Queen of the List!

AM

I survived Halloween....by the hair of my chinny chin chin! Now I can take a small breath and start mentally preparing for the holidays. Wait a second....is there such a thing as "preparing" for the holidays?? (Note to Self: Stop dreaming and accept reality.)

My mother is already starting to bug me about Thanksgiving. The woman drives me crazy. She is such a planner...and my life right now is a wee bit difficult to plan. I often wonder if she pays attention when she comes to visit??? Maybe she in some evil way enjoys the chaos I call my life???

My family has decided we should just get everyone on both sides of our families together...at my house. How did I pick the short straw on that one?? Where the Hell was I for the family vote on the holidays? Can I veto?? I hear Mexico is lovely this time of year. I'm sure they can serve turkey on the beach with one of those fruity girly frozen cocktails...right???

I don't mind the holidays actually. I get a wee bit festive I dare say. This year though is going to be a bit different. My family has grown like those sea monkeys we had as children. Ya'll remember those don't ya???

The kids asked us last night if they could get another pet for Christmas. At which point R and I burst out into fits of uncontrollable, almost evil laughter.

Yeah right....like I am stupid enough to bring anything else into this house that lives and breathes. Although truth be told some days I might not even notice. Some days I feel like my house is a version of Romper Room or Mr. Kangaroo gone wrong.

But again...we did survive the sugar rush of Halloween. Thanksgiving should be a breeze right? Doesn't turkey make everyone sleepy?? I'll just be sure to give everyone triple helpings of "bird" this year.
That ought to do the trick.

Well, I gotta go. Decorator lady is on her way. She's bringing drapes today. I wish she and R would be done with this already. He keeps asking her to do things...and it's funny...he's never around to "deal" with her when she comes to the house. Again...I draw the short straw! What's up with that??? I should have more patience for this lady but if you met her....well, all I can say is you would feel my pain.

And it's a Monday. Those of you who know me know how much I "love" Mondays. I have a no perky people rule on Monday. What was R thinking when he set up the drape thing with peppy perky annoying decorator lady?? I think I shall let him sleep on the couch tonight.

Hope all is well out there. Take care...

AM