I'm soooooooooo excited!!!

My new shower head is installed, thanks to my good buddy Rob! It looks so pretty! LOL! It took him all of 15 minutes to install the damn thing. I am so inept! I should wear a t-shirt that says Home Improvement Reject! Oh well, it's finally done!

Good old Rob. He's a champ! He was my first boyfriend in high school and we are the best of friends now. Weird, huh? He's always there for me, and helps me out all of the time.

He'd be a great catch if he wasn't such a Man Whore! It's my term of endearment for him, and I say it to his face, so I guess I can say it here!

The guy has a zillion women he dates here in Dallas, and in every city in which he does business. I don't know how he keeps up with it, it would exhaust us average folk...but he does. His good looks and charm are to his benefit, but I remind him weekly that they can only last so long!

Anyway, I fed the guy per his request. Gawd, he eats here all the time...Come to think of it I don't believe he has a kitchen at his place...that's odd, huh? Anyone else have friends like that?? LOL

So we ate dinner. He brought Ash a bunch of candy. Any other parents out there hate when their single friends do this? I mean as a Mom I would never dream of bringin a friend of mines kids a butt load of sugar before bedtime!

Oh pay backs are hell...I might have to wait a while to pay him back...who knows..he might just have a kid in every port soon if he keeps up the Man Whore thing! LOL!


So Rob asks me tonight if I want to be his Unvalentine date tomorrow night.

I say, "What the hell is that?"

He says, "Well you don't have a boyfriend right now, and I don't have a girlfriend..."

I interrupt.."Dude you have a million girlfriends..."

He says, "But I don't want to give anyone the wrong impression."

See what I'm sayin? Man Whore. Heaven forbid he takes out one of the flock and they think it's going to lead to the altar! GAWD!

He says, "So, instead of you sitting home being a loser.."

Cut him off again."Why would I be the loser?"

He says, "Cuz you're a girl and all."

Now I am talking to Einstein and Dr. Phil all at the same time!

He continues, "I don't have to buy you flowers, you don't have to put out, and we can just enjoy a good meal and some good cocktails."

I say, "What if I want flowers?"

He says "You gonna put out?"

I shake my head, "Keep the flowers."

So anyway, we are going to go hang out tomorrow night. My daughter is going to dinner with her grandparents and spending the night. So, I guess a good meal, with a good friend, and some good wine can't hurt! Heaven forbid I be the girl loser! Whatever!

Anywho...gonna go take a shower. Rob left for his Monday booty call...and I keep looking at my new shower head (I NEED A LIFE PEOPLE) and so I am gonna take it for a test drive. It's just so pretty...come on ya'll...it's all about the little things!

Toodles!

Oh Lordy!

I learned a valuable lesson this morning!

It was a bit cold here today, so I was drinking lots of hot tea. When I got to my morning meeting, I was drinking a huge Diet Coke. Big Gulp ,People!

A few minutes after getting into the car to go work at home...

BAM! OH GAWD!

It hit me! I was doin' the Potty Dance! You guys know what I mean right? Kinda bouncin' up and down, amusing the drivers beside you, trying to think of anything else in the world other than the fact that your bladder might explode at any given moment! And just your luck Cry Me a River comes blarin' across the radio!

And of course...I was hitting every red light! There may or may not have been some cursin' going on in my car. I'm pleading the 5th on that one! If I could have crossed my legs and driven I would have!

Not sure why I was drinking this morning like a camel saving up for a long trek across the Sahara! I'm stupid I guess! LOL Should have gone before I left, right? That's what I tell my daughter all the time! Heaven forbid I take my own advice!

Anyway, finally made it home...waddled in like a duck with some "issues"...and glad to report me and the car are both dry! LOL Whew! Close call!

Anyway, working at home now...I love that on Mondays! Yippee!

When I got home there was a message on my home voice mail from my Ex-Husband.

Does anyone out there know if hell has frozen over?
Any input would be appreciated it. Thanks.

Happy Monday!

Okay, it's 9 pm, and the shower head is still not installed! I give up! That's right....I'm a big whiny quitter!

I got the darn thing on, but it was leakin' out the sides. I am no rocket scientist, but I'm pretty sure the whole leaky side thing isn't a good sign! I'm feeling like a moron. Defeated by a stupid shower nozzle! I guess I won't be getting that call from Bob Vila from This Old House anytime soon. Bummer!

Anywho...called a guy friend of mine who spent a good ten minutes raggin' on me, and then offered to come over tomorrow after work and help me....IF I make him a home cooked meal, and get him a six pack of cold beer!

What happened to friends doing things out of the kindness of their hearts?? Everybody has their price these days! LOL Looks like I'm cookin' tomorrow night!

Hope everyone had a great weekend! Take care ya'll!

Oh my God....was in the shower 2day...had just finished washing my hair, and I turned around to face the water. I heard this very weird noise and then BAM, BAM.... something shot out at me, and I swear I thought I was being attacked by the shower aliens!

I almost fell down on my butt, and when I looked up water was shooting out everywhere! I looked down and there was a piece of my shower head floating around...Fun!

So, I figure the shower is broken, I can fix this. I went to Home Depot, even took the piece that flew out at me along, so I could figure out what I needed to fix the shower.

I have to admit...I'm afraid of Home Depot. I feel like a lost soul when I wander through that store. I'm certain I look like a deer caught in the headlights when I'm in there!

So, I find this nice guy to help me out. He assures me that I just need to install a new shower head, and then he shows me like 50! I tell him to give me the one that will be easiest for my dumb ass to install...and we finally find one. He assures me ANYONE can do this! I feel confident, I check out, and I head home thinking this will be no big deal.

I got home, threw a little Green Day into the stereo...and thought no biggie....Well, apparently, I am not ANYONE!!! Apparently, I should stay away from any home projects!

I am now sitting here drinking a diet coke, poppin' Jolly Ranchers like they are crack, my jeans and t-shirt are soaked, and the damn new shower head that "ANYONE" can install is not even close to being installed! I am thinking about getting out a sledge hammer! UGH! UGH!

I called my brothers. Surely they would come help a sister in need. Yet, they only laughed and all said they were busy! I so see where I rank...

Gonna take a break for a few, and then go venture back into the shower! Wish me luck...am I an idiot or what???? How hard can this possibly be???? Any pointers? Maybe I should just forget about it and start takin' baths!

Get this....

I was in Blockbuster tonight checking out some DVD's with my daughter. I get up to the register and the lady at the register next to me is yelling and cursin' at this young guy behind the counter.

She has two small kids with her, and she's usin' words that make me blush! My GAWD the mouth on this little woman! I was sitting there thinking what the hell could this poor guy have done to make her freak out like this...Nothing. No one deserves to be talked to that way.

I wanted to cover my daughter’s ears and then smack this lady with my purse. The poor guy looked scared, and I don't blame him...she looked like something out of the Exorcist! And her poor kids...I am sure she's on the list for Mother of the Year somewhere.... like in hell!

Hate people that think the only way they can get across what they have to say is by yelling and freaking OUT! Anger management needs to sign her up ASAP!

Finally the manager came over cuz now it was quite the scene. I checked out and got in the car. I looked at my daughter and said, " You know all those bad words that lady was using in there?"

She nodded. I said, "If I ever hear you use any of those words you'll be grounded till your 30."

It's a full moon out tonight people. Lock your doors; hide your children, all the crazies are coming out to play!