My Ex-Boyfriend came by tonight. No, this is not a bad thing...it's just kind of an odd thing.

He left a few minutes ago, and I just feel kinda "off".

My Ex and I were together for two years. We had a great relationship together. 1 1/2 years into our relationship he decided to take a job back in his home state. It was a good job, we were excited about it.

I was going to stay here in Dallas for about 5-6 months, to let my daughter finish the school year, and to wrap things up here on the home front.

I mean, what's 6 months? 6 months should be nothing to 2 people who were so in love. 6 months turned out to be everything.

I still cannot pinpoint how things changed. They just did somehow. It was slow, almost invisible, until suddenly it just "was" different.

I flew out to spend a week with him so we could look at houses. It was not a bad week, we even had fun together, but it was not the same.

The day I flew home, we hugged and kissed for what seemed like forever. We cried. He's not an overly emotional guy, and that moment just sticks with me. I didn't want to let go, and he didn't want to let go...because somehow without ever saying it...we both knew it was over.

As I was walking to the security point he called my name. I turned around. He used the nick name he had for me, winked, and said, take care of yourself. I love you. I said I loved him too, and headed to the gate.

I cried the whole flight home.

5 days later, in a tearful phone conversation, which lasted almost 6 hours, our relationship ended. There was no yelling, there were no hateful words, there hadn't been any cheating, or lying, there had simply been an undefined change between us. It was one of the hardest good-byes I have ever said. And to this day...I'm not sure either one of us understand it.

We both loved each other very much. Yet, we both agreed that sometimes love just isn't enough. There are other things that are a part of it as well.

We did not speak for months. Somehow, we finally spoke. It was awkward, but good. I had missed him, but more than missing a lover, I had missed the close friend he had become to me. We have this amazing ability to laugh and talk when together. I had missed it greatly.

We both agreed we missed our friendship. We both agreed that we were adult enough to remain friends. So we have.

I saw him once briefly while he was in town in October. We had dinner. We talked and caught up on life. We laughed. I told him to call me next time he was in Dallas.

So, he called today. He wanted to come by and say hey. He did.

We sat and drank some wine. We talked and caught up on everything going on in our crazy lives. He told me I seem happy, I told him the same.

It doesn't take long for the awkward feeling to disappear and soon we were laughing and recalling old times, as if they were yesterday. We do not ever however ever discuss our break up, or what it was like for either of us. It seems to be a topic we dance around...maybe out of fear, but after he left I think maybe it's because we really don't understand it. No one around us does either.

It's weird...to be sitting on opposite ends of the couch, talking, and laughing with an EX. Someone you used to always be "right" next to. Someone you spent every day with for 1 1/2 years. Somehow it was as if we were never lovers, but more like old high school buddies catching up on old times.

It was good to see him. I am glad he is happy and well. I wish and want that for him, as much as he wants it for me. He wants to do lunch tomorrow; I told him I'd see. I'm just not sure I can...or want to.

I'm not still in love with him, but I find this new friendship we are trying to build so different than what I am used to...that I think I need more time to gradually slip into it. Make sense?

I don't know. He left and I sit here with this weird feeling. Not sure what to do....even more unsure of what I think.

Perhaps the wine has made me sentimental...I just spent three hours with someone I used to call the love of my life. And I cannot shake whatever it is I am feeling right now. I am not sad...I am not crying. but I don't feel "right" either. Who knows?

GAWD...I've written a novel. Sorry if I put anyone to sleep out there...but then again it's late, so maybe that's what some of you need.

Okay, I am not sure if this will be the best place to post this, but alas I am at my wits end.

This blog message is directed at a certain "Blogger" who has taken it upon himself to send me way too many "Colorful" P.M.'s.

Dear Sir:

Yes, I have received all of your P.M.'s. I give you "clever" points for trying to use a different name once you were asked to kindly STOP, and were blocked. But, I am a smart girl Mr. Blogger. I know it's still you. Gigs up dude.

I fear that sending you a P.M. message asking you to stop AGAIN, under your new "assumed" name would be like giving a dog a bone. And I already have a dog.

Listen, I am quite flattered that you like reading my blog. Really, I am. HOWEVER, I in no way NOW or EVER want to hear what you do whilst reading my blog.

No, I will not send you a picture of myself. Dude, after reading your messages I would not even send you a picture of my hamster.

No, I do not want to know what "IT" looks like, what your pet name for "It" is, or how many times a day you look at "It."

I have a vivid imagination. Therefore the many details of your exploits in "Blogger Land" are truly FREAKIN' unnecessary. Honest. You can stop. I give you permission.

I have a good sense of humor. Yet I can assure you that there is no laughter or excitement on this end in regards to your constant notes. I promise you this is true.

Finally, dude, I truly believe that blogs are a place for people to express what they think and feel.

I do believe in “Freedom of Speech", HOWEVER, I don't believe this includes how you "Free Willy".

I am sure there is a niche out there for your colorful tales. Sir, THIS IS NOT IT!

Thank God for Happy Hour Friday! Can I get an "Amen" people? I can't hear you!!! LOL

Everyone in the office had a case of the "grumpies" today! This is highly unusual for a Friday where I work! I think the Office Grinch was wrecking havoc on us all today!

So, at 4 pm, I rounded up some of the troops that work for me and took them out for some drinks. I was hoping they would relax a bit, and maybe smile...even if it was alcohol induced! I know...I'm a bad seed! Oh well...if it works, it works!
They have all been working really hard, and I think it's starting to take it's toll. I felt bad.

So we hit "Margaritaville"....at one of my favorite Mexican places here in Big D. I know ya'll won't believe this...but after one or two of the frozen wonders...my employees actually started to laugh a little...and I swear I saw a smile or two! LOL

It's funny to watch people unwind when they have a drink or two. The ties and jackets come off, hair comes down, the body language changes, the jokes seem funnier, and the days stresses just seem to melt away just like the drink in your glass!

If you read todays morning post, you'd know my day got off to a rather bumpy start. Well, it continued all day. I think I may have carried my little black cloud to the office. So, in order to shed my black cloud guilt...I poured a little frozen wonder on it. In the end...the cloud seemed to disappear...as did the drinks...or maybe I just think they did because of the glassy eye thing I got going on!

Anywho...it's butt cold here tonight. Going to go get in my flannel PJ's! Man, I love flannel PJ's! They so rock. Yes, I know nothing sexy about the flannels, but I'm not going for "pretty" points tonight! Be afraid! LOL

"Momma said there'd be days like this, there'd be days like this...my Momma said..." (Come on sing along..I know you wanna...)

Okay fellow bloggers...I'm having my Monday on a Friday, and I am none to pleased. (I may or may not be pouting about it like a 2 year old, but that's up for debate, and the day is still young!)

I got up this morning, and first of all it was cold. This is only weird because yesterday here in Texas it was almost 90 FREAKIN DEGREES! And today it's butt ass cold, and we are expecting ice and sleet! Go figure!

Anyway, I put on my robe, made some hot tea, and then made the mad crazy dash outside to grab my paper. Brrrr!

I sit down on the couch...Awwww.....I love fuzzy blankets...and take my paper out of its plastic wrapping. As I am unfolding the paper, and sippin' on my tea, I realize I am not alone! And I am not talking about aliens here people...

A freakin' nice, hairy, brown, 8 legged creepy spider is on my lap! Apparently my paper was his/her home! (I'm so writing a letter to the Dallas Morning News! This is sooooooooo unacceptable!)

I jump up like a crazy woman on crack, screaming and cursing, and shaking my body like I am convulsing. The paper has flown across my living room, and my hot tea is now on the floor. I look down on the ground..."Where is the nasty little bugger?"

I cannot see him. I cannot see him! I'm looking everywhere...I have got to find it so I CAN KILL IT! I'm starting to panic!

And then I look down on myself, and there in the pocket of my robe is my new little friend! Man, I don't think I have ever gotten undressed so fast! (Well, maybe this one time..but that's a story for another day..LOL)

So now I'm shaking the robe out until finally the little bugger lands on the carpet.

So, what do I do? I take off my fuzzy red slipper of course and I beat it, and beat it, and then I beat it some more...until the poor soul is in a million pieces. Then I grab my vacum cleaner and suck the sucker up into oblivion.

At this point I no longer need the jolt of my hot tea; I am functioning on all 8 cylinders! And somehow, I just feel "dirty"!

I hate spiders. If you are one of those people who believe that every living thing deserves to live and breathe...well, I agree unless it includes spiders!

I was bitten by a brown recluse when I was 16 years old. It was horrible. One little spider sent me to the ER three times, and for an over night stay at the hospital. Brown recluse bites eat your skin away, and my leg was a horrid site for weeks. I still have a little scar right under my knee from that damn spider.

So, since then, what little tolerance I had for the species quickly vanished. And now in my opinion they all must die!

So that's how my day started. Yes, call me a wimp...taunt me...I care not!

When I got into the office this morning, the Big Cheese stopped by to "chat". Whatever! The chat has resulted in a bunch of work yours truly will have to do over the weekend. UGH! "I don't wanna, I don't wanna..."

And my Mother called. She wants to set me up with some Barney Fife dude she knows through her work! Man, I wish my Mom would stop tryin' to pimp me out to every guy she meets who is single! UGH! Yes, Mom, a young lady can be single and happy. She'd be even happier if you stopped trying to HOOK HER UP!!!!

So now, I am sitting here in my office and it ain't even 9 am, and I am ready to call it a day. I think I'm going to fake that I have the Ebola virus!

Okay, I have spent the majority of my morning on the phone with some of my "Yankee" customers.

Before you get going on the "Yankee" thing, I use it as a term of endearment. I have a lot of customers on the East Coast, and a lot of friends from that area, and I've spent a great deal of time up there...and love it.

However, after talking to some of them today, I just feel the need to clear a few things up about Texans. There always seem to be the same questions, jokes, and stereotypes...so I decided to do my fellow Texans a favor, and set the record straight! LOL

So, this is directed at anyone who has either never been to Texas, or lives outside of Texas.

Yes, we use the word ya'll. No, I don't know why. Yes, I know this amuses you every time I say it.

No, I do not now or have I ever lived on a ranch.

No, I do not have horses or cattle. I rode a horse once...in FLORIDA, and it wasn't pretty.

Yes, we cut of the ends off a lot of words...we're always "fixin' to", "goin' to" "startin' to". No, this is not because we are stupid or due to inbreeding.

No, I have never owned cowboy boots, cowboy hats, Wrangler jeans, or big shiny belt buckles. Shocker huh?

No, I do not know who shot JR, and I really don't give a crap.

No, my daddy is not an oil tycoon. I wish he was then I wouldn't have to pay over 2 bucks a gallon at the pump like everyone else.

No, I do not know anyone named Billy Bob, Sue Ellen, Joe Bob, or Billy Ray.

Yes, we know it gets hot here because we are the ones not complaining about it. You can always spot a "Yankee" in the summertime.

No, just because Bush is from Texas it does not make him "My guy"! Nor does it mean I like him or that I voted for him. That's like assuming someone from Florida must love oranges, or someone from Wisconsin must love cheese, or that someone from California must surf. You get the idea. So please stop calling him "My Guy".

No, I do not know all of my neighbors. Texas is a big state people; please take another glance at your map.

No, I don't know any Brokeback Cowboys.

No, I do not drive a pick up.

Yes, I know we cannot drive in the snow or ice. Yes, I know this amuses you. Yes, it makes us idiots, that's why God doesn't send too much of it our way in the winter.

Yes, I know we can't drive in the rain either.

Yes, the jokes about the "jailbirds" of the Dallas Cowboys are funny. We know this because we have heard the same jokes over and over. We no longer laugh simply because we are waiting for new material. Then we will laugh, too.

Yes, we use the words "No Ma'am" "Yes Ma'am" "Yes sir" we know this amuses some of you too. We use these words for one reason...it's called good manners.

No, we don't hang out at the rodeo! I have only been to the rodeo once in my life and it was to take visiting "Yankee" friends who "Had" to check it out.

Yes, I know JFK was shot here, and no, I don't know who did it.

Yes, I have been to the "Grassy Knoll", I have the good fortune (sarcasm insert) of taking all my visiting "Yankee" friends and family every time they come down. It's a piece of grass people. Step out into your backyard, it's almost the same.

Yes, we are obsessed with football whether it is high school, college, or professional. No, I do not know why. No, I do not think this makes us better at it...well, maybe.


No, I do not square dance.

Yes, I have indoor plumbing.

And finally...

Yes, we say everything is bigger and better in Texas. Yes, we know this irritates some of you. I am sorry. I didn't come up with the motto, so please stop raggin' me about it. Besides, my Momma used to tell me that sometimes "Bigger and Better" is a damn good thing! LOL

Hope that helps clear the air a bit. If anyone else has anything to add I'd love to hear it. Somehow I am thinking the comments on this one will be interesting...

Take care Ya'll!!!!