Well, the weekend is over and we are "blessed" with yet another Monday!

Why is that the weekends seem to fly by, but this day of the week passes with the quickness of a turtle? I am convinced it's part of a conspiracy to try and push us all over the edge.

I believe someone spiked the water cooler here at the office today. Everyone is acting rather silly and I can hear constant giggles "floating" on the air waves.

There is just a play ground feel here today. I think at any moment someone is going to run into my office and scream, "Recess!"

Usually on Mondays this place is filled with the groans of the disgruntled worker. Mondays usually seem to fill my employees with attitudes that resemble those of Scrooge and Grumpy of the Seven Dwarfs!

Not today. I swear I saw someone skipping earlier as I grabbed my hot tea. I am certain that one of employees was actually humming when I walked by her desk. And I keep getting the oddest response to my requests from them..."Sure thing, AM!" or "I'll get that right to you!" and these replies are followed by something even more strange...SMILES!!!!

I wonder if someone has replaced them all with evil happy robots that are planning to take over the world? Maybe I should call someone? Should I be afraid to walk through the halls amongst the almost too happy people? Is it contagious???

Don't get me wrong. It's a nice change to smell happy in the air in this tomb on a Monday! It just never, ever, and I mean NEVER happens. Is the global warming affecting their brains, melting away their Monday Blues?? Did they all decide to pop some crack this morning with their lattes, cappuccinos and frou-frou coffees??

Don't they all know that we are supposed to unite in our hatred of this day? Didn't they get the memo that said no one can be "happy" on a Monday? Don't they know that there is no way in Hell that I can be my usual grumpy Monday hating self amongst all of their giddy laughter and "perkiness"??

I am at a loss. I still do not like my Mondays, but today I feel almost "dirty" for even thinking about my distaste for this day of the week.

I guess I should just join them. I mean if they think I am not "one" of them they may start to riot and plot my demise.

I am going to have to plaster one of those fake smiles that BiggieT was talking about last week on my face and pretend I am really happy it's Monday! I am going to have to dig deep within my body and soul and find a girlish giggle or two!

I would skip along side them, but with my grace and poise I would certainly trip and fall and break something or someone.

I'm taking a deep breath, and I am going to go walk among the pod people. If you never hear from me again, please know that I met my end with Happy, Monday, Laughing, Singing, and Smiling people who may soon be in an office near you! Should you see them...run Forest, run! And whatever you do....do not look back!

AM

I'm so excited! And I just can't hide it! I'm about to lose control and I think I like it! Come on Streamers...sing along! Bust a move if you dare!

I'm in a great mood today. Life is flowing at an even keel, which in my world is often unheard of anymore! I must not express too much excitement in fear of jinxing myself!

Tonight I am going to get together with a large group of friends that I have grown up with through the years. I have known most of them since grade school, and they are more like family than friends. We always have a blast when we gather...

"R" is feeling better so he will be joining me. I have been giving him grief ALL day long!

AM: You know I have known these people for a long time, and if they don't like you...well, you're so out of here!

R:

AM: Oh, you're not going to wear THAT are you?

R:

AM: Just be sure to be on your best behavior and dote on me like there is no tomorrow, ok?

R:

AM: And one other thing...

I am then interrupted by "R" flashing me the "bird". For shame!

DB gave "R" a pedicure this morning and a new hair do. It was fun to watch to say the least. "R" was a good sport, and I never knew he could look so, well, so...Pretty!

I can tell that he's feeling better as he seemed to find his smart ass wit again today! We do give each other an awful hard time, but yet I love that about us. We share a clever love of words, this amuses he and I, but I am sure our "antics" annoy most of those around us! Gotta be good at something, right?

Of course I am still giving him grief over the whole naked thing from this week. That "episode" has so much potential mileage.

AM: You know I never dated a shower stripper before!

R:

AM: If you wanted to get naked baby you could have just skipped the drama and asked!

R:

AM: You know honey the other day when you were in the shower I kept asking myself, "Where's a fig leaf when you need one?"

R:

AM: I'll show you mine, if you show me yours, Honey! OH WAIT! You already showed me yours, so there's no need to show you mine. Giggle, giggle.

R: You through yet?

AM: Oh HELL NO!

R: Ok, keep going. But remember I know where you sleep.

AM: But I don't sleep N-A-K-E-D!!!

R:

You guys get the idea. Yes, I am an evil soul, who apparently has WAY too much time on her hands. I'm just in such a great mood and that somehow brings out the wise ass in me. Shocked aren't you? I know...it's hard to believe that someone as sweet and untainted as me could have such a mouth on her! I can just hear ya'll's comments on that statement now.

Well, I am off for now. I hope you guys are having a great weekend! We survived another week and that alone is cause for celebration!

Take care out there in Blogger Land, and don't do anything I wouldn't do! That doesn’t leave much for you to do, so I hope ya'll don't get bored!

AM

It's Friday and I guess that means I am supposed to do my Friday Fun Facts! So here ya'll go! Drum roll please....

1. I attended Catholic private schools for all of my grade school and high school years! To this day every time I see plaid, or
saddle oxford shoes I cringe! Hard to see me as a good little Catholic school girl isn't it??

2. I am a complete Star Wars nerd! I grew up with brothers and somehow it all rubbed off on me. I still have all of my Star Wars action figures from when I was growing up. Scary huh? I can watch the movies over and over again and never grow tired of them! Han Solo so rocks my world!

3. I may or may not be a member of the Mile High Club. All I am saying is that the flights from the East Coast to Europe are quite long.

4. I cannot sleep with socks on my feet. I have no idea why, but if I am wearing socks in bed I will be awake for hours.

5. I went sky diving...ONCE! I was dating a guy in college who insisted we try sky diving, and I must have been drunk when I agreed to go with him! It was amazing but it scared the ever living crap out of me! I do better on the ground...not flying "towards" the ground!

Well, there ya go. I am so glad it's Friday. I have a really cool weekend planned with friends and family. We have a big gathering of people I have known since my grade school days Saturday and Sunday. I cannot wait!

"R" is feeling a bit better. I am hoping he'll be 100% by tomorrow so we can enjoy the weekend together. Cross your fingers and toes.

I hope all of you groovy cool Streamers have a wonderful weekend! Stay out of trouble, and be good! Take care....

AM

Well, "R" is sick with my cooties from last week and it has been an adventure to say the least.

I stopped by his place after work last night to bring him to my house so I could take care of him. When he opened the door he looked like Hell warmed over and he could barely move. I felt terrible.

He wanted to take a shower and I told him I would pack his stuff up while he was rinsing off the funk!

So I was going through his closet and drawers trying to get a few things together. I realize that the boy has a fondness of clothes! My Gawd!

All of the sudden I hear the boy screaming my name. I run into the bathroom.

AM: Baby, are you okay?

R: No, I think I am going to pass out.

AM: Okay, let me grab a robe or something and you can get out.

R: Don't have a robe. I need to get out.

Okay, "R" and I have not officially seen each other au natural yet. It's not for lack of wanting to, but we decided to take that part slow. So, now I am standing there realizing I am about to see the boy in the nude.

R: I need to get out.

Ok, here's my boyfriend of a short while, sicker than a dog, with a 104 degree fever, and he's about to pass out. And all I can think about is the fact that I am about to see him naked for the first time and I'm blushing. How crazy is that? Buck up AM! Seen one boy naked you've seen them all, right?? Not right.

I approach the shower door slowly and all of the sudden I hear a THUD!

Oh crap! I yank the shower curtain back and there on the shower floor is my man, in all of his glory, looking like a wet puppy dog.

Now I am about 5"7 and 118 pounds, "R" is 6"1 and about 185 pounds. There is just no way I am going to get naked boy out of the shower. Anyone have a pulley???

He's looking up at me like a scared little kid. It's weird to see him look so fragile. It's weirder to see him lying there naked. Under different circumstances the whole naked thing would be really, really good. Somehow at the moment it's just plain awkward.

R: Sorry.

AM: It's okay. Do you think you can stand up?

R: No. In a minute.

He still has shampoo in his hair. I am cupping my hands with water trying to wash it out. I am trying not to think of the naked thing. But it's kind of hard to not think about it.

A few minutes pass and he informs me that he's ready to stand up and get out. I wrap my arms around him and try to help him to his feet. This is futile. The boys’ knees are as wobbly as fettuccini.

We try three times with no resolve. Finally we get him out and I am trying to wrap a towel around his "parts" and get him to the bedroom. He collapses on the bed.

I stand there looking like a wet rat, and realize it is going to take an act of congress to get this boy dressed.

I sit there awkwardly trying to "pat" him dry. I am trying not to “look” at him, but it’s impossible. He’s lying there spread eagle. No modesty going on in this bedroom. I then proceed to try and get the boy into some boxers. He's being as helpful as a dead man.

It takes me 30 FREAKING minutes to get him into a pair of boxers and a t-shirt. He informs me that this is as "dressed" as he is going to get. I am not even going to argue with the poor soul.

I grab his packed bag and we make it to the car.

As we are driving to my house he looks over me with that beautiful smile.

R: You know I did all of that just so you could see me naked.

AM: Yeah, sure you did.

R: I'm really just faking it. (He says as he's coughing up a lung)

AM: I know, Honey.

R: You can wait to tell me how sexy I am later.

AM: Okay, baby.

R: I know you’re just in "awe" of me and my Adonis body right now.

AM:

Even though the boy is delirious with fever, he somehow makes the whole situation comfortable with his sense of humor. I reach over and hold his hand and hope he's feeling better soon.

So, I will always remember seeing my man naked for the first time. This moment will be burned into my mind for a long time to come. Not exactly how I pictured it, but nothing in my life ever is how I "picture" it.

Yup we shared our first naked encounter and there was no cigarette afterwards.

Well, when it rains it pours, and apparently there's a flash flood going on in my world right now! Anyone have a life jacket?

I went into the office yesterday and that was the beginning of the end of my sanity. Being sick last week made this whole experience a boat load of fun!

Ya'll already know I do not work with the crispiest pickles in the barrel. In fact I think yesterday everyone who works for me decided to leave their brains at home and apparently started a new holiday....Drive AM Bonkers Day! It will officially be a paid holiday from here on out.

So, after a day of dealing with the mindless twits I anxiously headed home. Why? I should have just spent the night there. I was about 15 minutes from picking up DB and received yet another gift! This backwards ass hillbilly bumpkin decided our cars needed to be a little "closer"!

I guess he didn't see the freaking light turn red as he slammed right into the back of my car.

The guy proceeded to tell me that he just didn't see me there. How could he not see my big car? He also then informed me that he didn't currently possess any car insurance!

Of course he didn't have insurance. That would have made the whole situation too easy. And nothing in my life is easy. Easy apparently thinks it might make my life boring. "Easy" avoids me like the plague!

Okay, dealt with that. No big deal. Picked up DB who was in the "greatest" of moods. Everything I said to her made her upset and I spent the evening listening to her on and off again break downs.

I decided just to get the kid in a warm bath and get her ready for bed. I went into her bathroom and as I glanced into the bath tub I realized DB and I were not "alone"!

There in the tub were about 5 zillion ants! Not little black ants, hell not even little red ants! Nope. These suckers were huge! In fact the whole scene reminded me of something out of a 1970's cheesy horror movie!

I started to drown them down the drain and realized there were just too many of them. I grabbed a bottle of "Ant Be Gone" spray and went to town! I hate bugs and damn if I was going to let these critters escape and "hang" out in MY bath tub!

I sprayed enough bug spray to kill a horse! I know I was buzzing from the fumes. La-La-La-La!

So, I guess I am going to have to get someone to the house to check out my bug problem. Even though I sprayed last night, there were a bunch of new visitors in the tub this morning. I think they are planning a take over!

And finally.....drum roll please! "R" called and guess what? The boy has my cooties! The boy is as sick as a dog, and apparently thinks he might die at any given moment. I thought I was a pain in the ass when I was sick, but this boy is proving me wrong. So, I am going to re-pay the poor lad for his kindness last week, but it's going to be hard! Really, really, really hard!

Pass the umbrella people! And if anyone knows where "Easy" hangs out can you please let me know? I'd love to meet him.

Toodles! I am off to play hide and seek with my employees. I figure if you can't beat them you might as well join them!


AM