Well, I'm late. Not the kind of late that has you walking into a board room after the meeting has already started. Nope...the kind of late that's end result is sheer and utter PANIC!

I have only been "late" twice in my entire life. The first time resulted in the arrival of DB and the second time was because I had surgery and my body was in disarray. This time...well I don't think I need to explain it.

The first few days I wasn't too worried. I am very careful and I pop that little pill every day...same time and same bat channel. By day four I was starting to get nervous. I mentioned it to "R" thinking he would share in my nervous state. He did not.

He was calm and said something along the lines of, "We will deal with this and I am here for you...BLAH, BLAH, BLAH." I know it sounds harsh of me but I really wish the boy had at least shown a little nervousness instead of what appeared to be a smile and a pat on his own back.

So today....which is now day 7 of being late I stopped on the way home to get one of those home tests. That was fun. I was not aware that they had a million different home pregnancy tests. For some reason I just felt dirty in that aisle. But alas I picked one out.

When I got up to the check out stand the lady smiled at me and said,"Best of luck to you." Not sure what the Hell she meant by that at all. I smiled at her, but really wanted to knock her on the head with the e.p.t. I restrained..... It was hard though.

So now I am sitting here staring at the damn box as if the aliens dropped it on my front door step. R and I are going to "perform" the test tonight after we get DB to sleep. For some reason that feels a million hours from now. Maybe I should just let her stay up all night??

I am a nervous wreck. R on the other hand is bordering on jovial and I know why. I mean he loves kids...so do I. I would love some day to add to my family, but I am pretty darn sure this is not the way I want to do it. R seems to take the approach if the test is positive that it is simply meant to be. I on the other hand feel scared to death and literally might toss my cookies at any given moment.


So Streamers....in a few short hours I shall know the answer to the question that is literally burning a hole in my head and my stomach as well. If you turn on CNN tonight and see a picture of a suburban woman running like a crazy horse through the streets screaming, "How did this happen???" please don't worry. I am sure I shall recover and somehow survive.

In a few short hours a little stick and a little tinkle will tell me if my life is about to change in a big way, or if it will continue the way it is right now. Wish me luck....whatever the Hell that means at the moment.

Take care,

AM

Well it again has been a long time since I was able to write a post here. Summer is flying by in the blink of an eye and my time to write has been minimal. I am sorry...

The past few weeks DB was gone and I enjoyed my grown up time and sleeping in on the weekends. I must admit I enjoyed my "quiet" time quite a bit, but was really glad to have her back home.

R and I took the kids out of town for the 4th of July. I realized that between the 2 of us we have three kids....but somehow I have 4 kids. This is because I now know I am dating the biggest kid of them all.

This is not a shocker. Yet I find it amusing that the kids sometimes are better behaved than R.

We spent a good hour at the firework stand, not because the kids wanted to but because R could not pry himself away from the lure of things that make loud noises and blow up.

He spent and I kid you not.....300 bucks on fireworks...on the first trip to the firework stand. The 6 days we all spent together brought us back to the stand 4 times after that. Lord have mercy.

I learned that I should not light things that have the possibility of exploding in your hands within seconds. I have the burns on my hands to prove it.

I learned that going fishing with R and the kids will result in the following:

I will be the one they throw bait at and laugh while I do the "icky" dance.

I will be the one that gets the stupid fish hook stuck in her finger trying to put a worm on the Barbie fishing pole.

I will be the one who freaks out as our youngest flings his little catch towards my head and then cries because I accidentally knocked it back in the water with my flailing hands.

Good lessons to learn. Really.

I also learned that my boyfriend is the freakin' Energizer Bunny. It appears that we can literally get up at dawn and all be up until Midnight and he's still going strong. I am convinced that even the end of the world would not affect his libido. I also learned that faking sleep and a headache only seem to make it more of a challenge for the boy.

Yes, it has been a busy summer. I am not complaining as I have had a wonderful time so far, but it is nice to know that we will be home for a while. I think we are all in need of some normalcy....not that I even have a clue as to what "normal" is these days.


DB is ready to go hit the swimming pool and I should really make some calls for work. I hope all of you Streamers are doing well these days and I promise to spend some time this weekend catching up. I finally have a weekend at home and I plan on enjoying every moment of it.

Take care out there, Campers!

AM

Well, my return to work was of course eventful. I think I should have stayed on the beach. I was great at making sure the waves only touched the very tip of my beach chair and I became a professional in the art of applying sun tan oil.

Yet all good things must come to an end. I am not even going to go into details about work. It seems to be repetitive. All I will say is that I will be passing out the Village Idiot T-shirts before leaving today.

On the home front all is well. DB went to camp last week and is visiting relatives this week. Last week I missed her, but I also realized the importance of having time a lone. This week I am really missing her and have to come to realize the quiet is just too quiet. I can't believe I just said that....but I really hate knocking around that big house without her. It just doesn't feel right.

R and I are taking full advantage of our time alone. Last night after a glass or two of wine we decided to hit the hot tub.....au natural.

It was a beautiful night and hanging out in the hot tub was the perfect way to melt away a Monday. This morning while we were getting ready for work I thought of something.

AM: Honey, do you think any of the neighbors could see us last night?

R: You worried?

AM: No, I was just wondering if any of them were hanging out upstairs in their houses and caught a glimpse. That would be embarrassing.

R: No, that would be funny.

AM: Seriously, I mean what if when I walk out to get the paper they are covering their children’s eyes and rushing back into their houses?

R: That would be classic AM.

AM: You aren't worried about it?

He stands there with the Cheshire cat grin on his face. I know he is trying to hold back the laughter and jokes. If you knew R that in itself is very very difficult.

AM: Never mind.

R: Hey, if anyone saw us last night at least they got a good show.

AM:

R: Maybe we inspired romance on the block.

AM:

R: I wonder if they could see your tan lines from last week?

AM:

R: Maybe they...

AM: Shut up...I get it. Enough already. Go fetch me some hot tea.

He throws a pillow at me and soon is well on his way to making AM naked and neighbor jokes. I fear I opened a whole can of worms with the boy.

At lunch today he sent me the following text message:

Honey, I drove by the house and thought you should know that the neighbors are protesting outside your door. I think the signs said Heathen.

Yup the boy is a riot. But I do love him. I admit I am helplessly and hopelessly in love with the boy. Last week when we were on vacation everyone kept asking us if we were honeymooners. I am guessing we were the kind of couple that made single people want to vomit.

Yet, for once in my life I know that I am really in love and I know he really loves me. And for the first time for me love is just easy. And I am savoring every moment of it.

Now let's just hope that I make it through another work day and that my neighbors don't start asking me if I am a nudist.


Take care out there everyone....

AM

Hey Guys!

Wow...seems like it has been ages since I have written here. The kids were at camp last week so R and I took a much needed grown up break together. It was wonderful and I feel relaxed and refreshed. Sometimes I think with this crazy thing we call life we all need a little down time.

So, today it is back to the real world. I must admit that I enjoy the vacation mode much better than the walls of this office. They seem smaller somehow.

I return to work with a much needed tan (I was starting to glow in the dark) and a very Margaritaville state of mind. I don't know much but I am certain that no one will be walking into this office holding a frozen concoction anytime soon. And I am pretty darn sure that people might notice if I kept my bathing suit on and sported those old trusty flip flops.

Guess vacation can't last forever. And all in all it will be a short return to the work place. R and I are taking the kids out of town for the 4th of July. I can't believe that July is quickly approaching us. It seemed only yesterday that DB was getting out of school. Man how times flies!

I can't write much now. For some reason my employees actually expect me to get some work done. I dread catching up with their antics from the past week. Yet maybe my golden brown tan will blind them from revealing anything they may or may not have done that would fall into the category of stupid.

Oh, a girl can dream can't she???

I am off to get this day truly started. May the force be with me...and with all of you. I am dying to know what you Streamers have been up to the past 10 days! Inquiring minds want to know....

AM

Is it Friday yet? Did someone make today a Monday or what???? Today has been none stop since 5 am and I am getting a bit tired. The pool seems inviting right about now. I wonder if I could somehow rig my laptop to work on the super cool floatie chair we bought the other day?

Working at home can be cool sometimes, but today I actually wish I was in the office. Ok, someone slap me for saying that out loud!

As I watch DB and her friends play outside in the pool I sit and wonder why us grown ups can't have 3 month long summer vacations?? I mean we work hard all year long too right? I think we should be able to sleep until 10 every day and play outside until our Momma's call us home for dinner. In fact I am tempted to run out there and join them. They look like they are having a blast out there! Oh to be 8 again! Just even for a day!

I also realized today that I must stop drinking ice tea as if it's going out of style soon. Seriously people I am an ice tea addict. You Yankee folk might not appreciate the gratification from a really good glass of cold ice tea on a hot summer day. I think it's a staple for us southern folk.

I might need to join a 12 step though. It appears that I am polishing off about 10 glasses of my favorite beverage a day. I'm even making sun tea outside as we speak. Ya'll know what that is right?? Man, nothing like sun tea.

"R" who is 50% Yankee and 50% Mutt has been making fun of my constant tea guzzling. He also thinks it is amusing that I have to pee every 15 minutes. Tea goes right through you. He has yet to truly appreciate my love of tea...I am working on it, he's coming along slowly. I will convert him soon I have no doubt!

We have a kid free weekend coming up and that is a rarity for R and me! We are pretty excited. He asked me today what I wanted to do...and my reply was simple. I said, " I don't care what we do...I am simply going to enjoy the silence!" All of you parents know exactly what I mean.

Gotta run....it appears DB and her friends need to be refueled with some ice cream! Toodles Streamers!

AM