Awww....the sweet sound of silence. Man, this is some golden stuff...savoring it like some fine wine tonight.

I somehow amazingly managed to get a night all to myself. R took the boys to see his sister and DB is spending the night with a friend. It's just me and Buster (the dog) and he's been passed out on the floor for a while now. Love that dog....low maintenance...and I am all about that!

There are a million things I could be doing, but alas I find myself having little want or desire to move my happy ass off this couch.....we have bonded tonight...my ass...this couch. It's a rather special relationship that I have seriously neglected as of late. It took us awhile to "reconnect", but alas the cushions and I have become one once again.

I am wondering if in hind sight I was a bit too anxious to get my "tribe" *cough, cough* I mean family out the door tonight. Was it too much that I had all their little bags packed since yesterday?? The quick pecks on the cheeks, followed by one too many "I love you too's" and many "subtle" gestures towards the front door and the car. Naw, I wasn't obvious or nothin'. I can't imagine why R asked me about 3 gazillion times if I was sure I didn't want to go to his sisters house. After the first 200 "No, thank yous" I started to think perhaps I should have learned sign language cuz the boy is apparently hard of hearing or seriously SLOW!

I went to turn on some music earlier and someone had apparently believed the Disney Channel station should play at decibels that the entire neighborhood should enjoy. I dare say I jumped a bit, almost tripping over Buster and probably using a few "choice" curse words.

I also noted how sweet it is to be FREAKIN QUEEN of the remote control. I felt a strange feeling of power as I clutched it in my little hands...I could watch whatever I wanted...without interruption and without being asked 200 zillion times if we could pretty please change the channel because watching Nickelodeon isn't the same on the other 3 FREAKIN TV's in the house.

So, I nourished my brain with a little History Channel...and some channel surfing...pausing only long enough to take R's call informing me they had arrived safe and sound. I'm wearing my old favorite PJ's...hair is a mess..no one to impress tonight. I could only find one of my cozy slippers...the other one apparently has decided to visit someone else's closet...or perhaps Buster hid it out back with the other "treasures" he seizes and captures. I think Buster secretly enjoys sending us on wild goose hunts...bet he has a lot of good dog giggles watching us frantically look for "misplaced"
items.

Well, I am going to enjoy a wee bit more of the silence....and retire with Buster to my chamber. I am Queen of the House tonight and intend on savoring every minute left of my rule...until I hand over my reign to the Tribe I call my family.
Take care out there...
AM

Awww...Sunday, Sunday....where does the weekend go? I swear it should be Friday night....something must be amiss 'round here.

I felt a slight case of Spring fever today. The weather here in the Lone Star state is wonderful...the kids are playing outside, R is grilling dinner (it smells like dinner anyway!) and I am lounging out on the patio swing chillin like a villian....sorry my kids say that I guess it stuck for some reason.

All in all a good weekend, just flies by as usual, and the next thing I know it's freakin' Monday. Crazy how that gig works isn't it?

Earlier today I thought it might be "fun" to let the kids help me wash the cars. Everything in this house starts off as a good idea..the chances of it ending up as a good idea are about 50/50. I used to put a wee bit more thought into my "ideas", but that led me to think the only safe and uneventful activity for my kids would be making them sit still in a bubble....doing NOTHING!!!

Okay,, so the cars did get clean...kinda. As clean as they shall get anyway. Did you know that a 7 year old can be sqeezed into a bucket full of soapy dirty water by his "loving" older siblings and be happy bout it? And I don't know about you, but I love nothing more than finally having one side of the car dried and clean to have two little ones decide to REWASH it for me. Gotta "love" the gifts that just keep giving.

In an effort to remove the little hand prints on the car, I realized that they "MAGICALLY" re-appear after washing. Curious isn't it? Apparently no one touched it, must be the damn dog...who knew he grew himself a pair of hands?? Miracles happen in my house every day as well.

Garden hoses are not for watering or washing around here...nope they are weapons of mass destruction. Did no one listen when I said, "Please don't get me wet? Please don't spray your brother in the face? PLEASE PUT DOWN THE FREAKIN GARDEN HOSE???" I talk to the air every day...sometimes it listens, but most of the time it carries my words off to some distant make believe land. I believe it is the land where all parent's voices go....

Cars were cleaned...dog was wet and muddy, little ones looked as if they had been sand blasted with water...and thought it a good idea to roll around in the grass while being wet...nothing like weeds stuck to every FREAKIN ounce of clothing..tracked through the house I just cleaned...man, that's some awesome stuff.


So, perhaps I need to find a better way to deal with my Spring Fever. Maybe it should involve me, myself and I and a Starbucks Latte, on the island where all the parents voices go....if anyone should care to join me...I am sure you already know the way.

Take care out there...and please STAY AWAY FROM THE GARDEN HOSE!!!

AM

Wow...it has been a long time since I have written here. i often stop by late at night when R is out of town and sleep evades me...I quietly catch up with some of you here...somewhere in the shadows.

Life has been the usual whirlwind and I have recently found myself needing to step back and breathe. I went to visit an old friend recently...I needed some grown up time and a breather from the day to day routine that sometimes seems to swallow me whole. It was a good trip although I must admit...that as much as I enjoyed my alone time I did miss this craziness that has become home.

Going from a single working Momma of 1 to a stay at home Momma to the "masses" has been a continuing adjustment. Every day brings something new with it...every day is a new "adventure".

When I left to go on my soul vacation...i found myself calling R a million times a day and night. Not sure why I was so worried..he does a great job with the kids and the house, but in some way I didn't want to think he could survive without me. Yes, I know...arrogant to believe the world can't function without my assistance.

The youngest cried when I left...the others well, they just wondered if I would bring back anything cool for them. Somehow these kiddos believe that a long weekend away for me should equate to expensive gifts for them. Go figure...nothing like feeling loved huh?

Upon my return R did look a bit frazzled...I secretly smiled on the inside. I kinda wanted him to know how much work goes into the kids...my daughter and his sons have been easier to handle...it has been the nephews who have truly been testing my parenting skills..and though I remind myself daily that before they came to be with us they never really knew what a family was...or had boundaries..and they aren't bad kids...they just keep me on my toes.

The house was still standing...there was some type of whacked out tree house in the making in the back yard...and apparently the washing machine must not have been working for 5 days as the laundry room almost exploded upon entry...and yes, I did secretly wonder if they had pizza for breakfast, lunch and dinner every day...but regardless...there they were in all their "glory" standing neatly groomed with hugs and smiles...and i realized that I was glad I took my "me" vacation, but was truly glad to come home. It's just simply where I belong even though some days I want to retreat to the dog kennel and hang out with him...

All is well here...crazy, but I have started to realize that crazy is simply our normal. And each and every day I figure out another piece of this life I somehow danced upon....it may require some valium (kidding) but all in all....it's good.

Hope everyone out there on the Stream is well...Happy Easter everyone.


AM

I want to start by thanking all of you for your kind words and prayers for us during this time. There has always been a magic to this place for me....I have laughed here, cried here, and found friendships that bloomed with the beauty of the written word. Though life doesn't always allow me the time to post here (or even brush my hair somedays! LOL) I know that the people here are truly amazing...and I am drawn here time and time again. Thank you for being the wonderful and amazing people you are.

I wanted to update you on our little guy. This situation started several weeks ago with what we thought was a common cold. He suffers from severe asthma and when the chest cold moved into bronchitis we started to become worried. The medication they 1st put him on failed miserably and soon we were dealing with pneumonia and he was unable to breathe on his own. After he was initially hospitalized the doctors struggled to get his breathing and high fever under control. The doctors and staff have been amazing and incredibly supportive through this time. Although I wished many times they would just come in with a magic wand and make it all better, I did take some comfort in knowing that he was in the best possible hands.

There is something to be said about the helplessness you feel when someone you love is ill...it is a feeling of no control...and as I watched him day after day not get better I soon found myself angry and wondering why this beautiful boy had to be so sick and even more angry that there was only so much I could do...

I had to turn it over to God as it was bigger than I...and I had to find my faith in the power of prayer and prayed that God would work through the hands of his doctors.

Things are slowly improving and right now we are simply taking it all day by day. And I continue to find great love and support through our wonderful family and friends. I am hoping that he will make a full recovery soon and that we will be able to bring him home to be with his family. Life is just not the same without him around this house.

When I went from being a Momma to one...to a Momma of many...I never knew the ways in which my life would change. As I sat in the hospital room one night last week and watched him sleep and looked at the worry and exhaustion upon "R"'s face...I realized something perhaps I overlook in the craziness of our day to day lives. I realized that even though I did not give birth to Alex, he had become my own. I realized my heart loved him just as much as any Mother loved their child. This little guy who had first been shy and reserved when I came into his life had become my buddy...my heart. And as I struggled wondering why his own Mommy wasn't at his bedside holding his hand and wiping his tears I realized that perhaps there was a reason God brought him into my life...or me into his...countless reasons actually....he needs me and I need him.

And I realized that it is so easy to lose sight of what is important in the craziness of day to day life. Perhaps sometimes God sends us reasons to slow down and remember what is most important in our lives. I only have to look around the room and I see 6 amazing reasons why I am one of the luckiest people in the world.

Again thank you for your prayers, support and kind words...me and my own appreciate it more than a girl like me could ever express. I will promise to keep you all updated here. And I ask for you to do one favor for me today....take a moment and stop and count your blessings...hug your blessings...tell them just how much they mean to you.

And to all my blessings here on the Stream...I love you. You are gifts beyond imagine....as I always say....take care out there.

AM

I have not posted in a while...life has been busy. One of our kids has been really sick...in and out of the childrens hospital here in Dallas...things are touch and go...I cannot sleep...and come here for good thoughts and prayers...we need it. There is a big chance that he may not pull through....and my heart is aching...we don't sleep...and take turns being at the hospital...but as I sit home with the other kids and R is with him....I find myself wishing I was there tonight, but we have other kids to take care of...my heart aches tonight...and I am scared. Please pray for us.

AM