A recent event in my life has me wondering if I truly am more of a control freak than I imagined myself to be. Life has a funny way of dishing out new obstacles to throw you off balance, and sometimes as I am now realizing it also can make you grasp in vain for even a slight glimpse of control. Something just seems to unravel when faced with an “unknown” situation and our complete inability to address the problem, correct it, and move on with life. Something’s; our “unknown” things, are just not that easy. Life doesn’t intend for them to be.
Of course it goes without saying that the “unknown” has driven mankind for thousands of years. The “unknown” has led people to great heights and great lows. I am beginning to realize that it is in our very nature to seek out the “unknown”, to understand it, to study it, conquer it, and lastly control it. Some of the greatest moments in history took place around the “unknown” and the brave souls who dared to venture onto a path where the outcome may not be within their control. Amazing moments where the end result was as uncertain and vast as the heavens above us.
Yet, countless people throughout mankind’s existence have achieved greatness and reserved their place in history because of their pursuit of the “unknown”. Man has sought to conquer and understand the “unknown” of the future as well as in our past. I wonder if it is the lack of fear in not knowing the outcome or the total encompassment of fear that drives that very part of each of us?
Perhaps it is simply a matter of faith and belief that no matter what lays ahead it is better to know it than to spend a lifetime never knowing it. Maybe it is in our moments of uncertainty that we truly grow and learn and become stronger? I am starting to wonder if letting go of control in itself is a life lesson we all must learn to embrace every once in a while in order to achieve the level of contentment we all so desire? Or is it truly our animalistic nature to seek, conquer, and control that drives us?
If every moment of our lives was known to us before we drew our first breath what kind of world would we have created? If we knew every obstacle, joy, heartache, and achievement we would have in our lives would we ever aspire to do great things? Would we ever aspire to be better people? Would the lack of fear and uncertainty propel us to new and wonderful heights? Or would it be our very undoing and descent into darkness? Would we still thirst to discover and learn and to better ourselves for our communities, our families, our careers, and future generations? For isn’t it the above mentioned that has driven mankind since its creation? What would we be without it?
Yes, the unknown can seem frightening at times. Sometimes it can be exhilarating and adventuresome. Sometimes it can be frustrating and agonizing. Yet the unknown is certainly always one thing….it is never predictable. Predictable would make this anomaly regular, normal, and far from the peculiar. In other words predictability would simply make the “unknown” anomaly anything but its definition. It would cease to be.
So, what drives us in the adversities that the “unknown” thrusts upon our lives? Some may be too scared to seek the knowledge the “unknown” can provide for fear that it may be too harmful to discover. Some may pursue it without caution and study and too quickly step into its realm without being prepared. Some may dance around it pretending not to notice its very existence in hopes that it will simply go away on its own. And some shall accept it for what it truly is, nothing less and nothing more and handle it with heedfulness and with the carefulness it so discreetly demands.
Some will come out of their experiences with the “unknown” with wisdom and awareness. Some will use their new found insights and share their experiences with others making an “unknown” more understandable to many or even a few. Some shall fail to find any meaning in the “unknown” at all and in their blind ignorance they shall fail to comprehend any of its meaning nor shall they embrace the lessons it offers. Some shall run away from the “unknown” and spend their lifetimes looking over their shoulders at its shadow with great fear and constantly wondering, “What if?”.
No, we do not come into this life known or knowing at all. We come into this beautiful life with a long list of “unknowns”. Some of them will bring us great happiness, joy, and achievement. Some of them shall bring us peace, comfort, and carry us gently into days ahead. Some shall force us to pick ourselves up off the ground and bring us to new heights in mastering this very life we live. Some shall bring us pain and sorrow and often fear. Some may bring us to the point of despair and helplessness. Yet, all of them will bring us to a better place…the place we are meant to be. A place where the “unknowns” become known.
Undoubtedly there are valuable lessons to be learned from each and every “unknown” that we encounter. Perhaps we are simply meant to clasp our hands around each one of these moments and every once in a while relinquish the control and certainty that many of us thrive upon? Maybe that is the greatest lesson the “unknowns” can offer us? Maybe in the simplicity of that statement there lies just that…simplicity. Maybe, just maybe we make the “unknown” much harder than it is meant to be.
This life we are given is filled with amazing and fantastic moments and though sometimes we may find ourselves riddled with doubts or grasping for guarantees it is in those very instances that we must stop expecting immediate answers and trust that the path shall take us to our intended place. For in each of these “unknown” moments there is something to be learned. There is something we are meant to achieve even if we deem it a failure or loss. There is something we are meant to carry with us and only we can choose if it shall be a burden or a gift.
So, as I face at my current “unknown” I know very little. A small amount of fear shakes and rattles within my heart, and the anxious feeling that has been keeping me awake at night is staring me in the eyes. This is my moment. My moment to step into my “unknown” and take a deep breath.
I have no idea what lies beyond it or what path it shall take me down, but I do know with certainty that closing my eyes to it is not an option. I know that this “unknown” as dark and overwhelming as it might seem at the moment holds within it something that is meant to be. It possesses something that shall be learned, discovered, and hopefully put to rest with a lifetime of knowns before too long.
In the mean time I shall look at this “unknown” in my life as I would any other moment and accept whatever this “unknown” time shall bring. For a moment I will relinquish the control of not having any control. There are no answers and no guarantees and nothing is certain. I guess it is time to dance with uncertainty for a brief while and introduce myself to this “unknown” as it is waiting patiently for me. Now is not the time to ignore it, today is my time to embrace it. Though there may be many things to lose; this amazing thing we call life offers a precious hope that there is much more to be gained.
Just venting and rambling here guys...know you understand. Love and miss you all dearly...
AM
