There's a baby in the house today!

No, I didn't give birth and forget to tell ya'll about it. It appears that babies come in all shapes and sizes. And apparently it's my new title!

I was still so sick last night and this morning that "R" insisted I go to the doctor. He flew in last night and was at the house at 8:30 this morning.

I am sure I resembled the creature from the black lagoon when I opened the door this morning as he made a face kind of like this:

And when I went to hug him he said I should save my hugs for later.

I hate the doctor. I didn't want to go. I whined and cried and told him I'd be fine in a day or two.

He looked me up and down and said, "Baby, there ain't nothing "fine" about you right now. We need to take you to the doctor and get you better so you can be "fine" again."

I may or may not have given him the bird at that point.

I finally caved to his annoying request and threw on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt and a baseball hat. I huffed and puffed all the while thinking he'd feel sorry for my pathetic ass and change his mind.

But OH NO! He wasn't having any of that. He didn't even bat an eye, not even a little flinch of hesitation.

Apparently me and all of my "charms" were on vacation. He just kept giggling at me.

I wanted to kick him. But that might not be the proper thing to do to the man in your life. Yet, it would have made me feel a little better....okay, let's be honest...it would have made me feel LOTS better. Misery loves company right?

So we went and saw the doctor. The car ride there almost did me in. I was certain the Grim Reaper was knocking at my door. Or maybe that was my breath??

The doctor looked me over and then looked at my throat and said, "Oh, I see. We can fix this right up."

You see what dude? Care to share your vast knowledge? Fix what up? I'm not a car Mister! Where's your degree? Did "R" take me to the Vet by accident??

DR: AM, I am going to do a throat culture, but I am pretty sure you have strep throat.

He goes to shove this stick looking thing in my mouth. It makes me gag. I am hoping I hurl on this guys pretty shiny shoes. That would teach him to ask before he jabs something down a girl’s throat.

AM: Strep throat? I haven't had that since I was in grade school.

DR: Pretty sure that's what you have. We'll know in a minute. Be right back.

He walked out. "R" looked at me and smiled. I still wanted to kick him.

R: See, AM. You have Strep. If you had not come to the doctor you wouldn't have gotten any better.

AM:

It was as if he was taking great pride in the fact that I actually "HAD" something. Maybe he knew if the doctor said it was just the flu and there was nothing they could do he'd never...ever hear the end of it.

R: See baby, we're gonna get you all fixed up.

AM:

R: And then you'll feel better. And then I'll take you to your favorite restaurant, ok?

AM:

Still want to kick him.

Well I do have Strep. So it's antibiotics for me and bed rest for a few days. I hate being sick like this. I hate sitting in the "Bat Cave" called my bedroom.

"R" got my medicine for me, and picked me up some soup and ginger ale before he went to the office. He told me he'd come by later and we could watch movies. He told me to get some rest.

I still want to kick him.

Well, I have bitched and moaned enough. Going to lie down and pull the covers over my head and try and pretend that I am invisible. If the cell phone rings one more time I am going to send it on vacation to a lovely place called the sewer!

Bet ya'll didn't know I was such a peach! I am as sweet as apple pie today.

Well, I am still sick and I've been hanging out in the “Bat Cave" I call my bedroom.

I've hardly moved at all today. I've got the TV on, the lap top at my side, a million tissues over flowing the trash can, cups of ginger ale, crackers, and miscellaneous things strewn all over the bed and night stands.

It's quite the mess. I believe I hear the faint sound of white trash music playing somewhere. For some reason the theme song to Sanford and Son is playing in my head. Maybe it's the fever? Or maybe I have just utterly lost it?

"R" sent me some flowers since he's out of town. That was sweet. They are beautiful. I wish I could smell them but I fear it would take another 8 boxes of Kleenex and a syringe for me to even remotely gain back a sense of smell.

Maybe I should bring them into the bat cave and brighten the place up a bit?

No, that would require movement. And movement is so over rated right now.

I'm still reeling from my embarrassing cookie tossing moment at the office. The scars run deep on that one.

Then my fever raging brain started thinking about the fact that I seem to have a lot of embarrassing moments. Shocking isn’t it?

In the past month alone I have had my foot caught in a deck, flashed restaurant patrons, fell down some stairs, had the words Big Poopy "Teard" written on my car windows by my daughter (Still laugh at how she misspells that word), spilled red wine all over my new man, carried around a cooler full of fish at the office being taunted "Fish Lady", and now I can add tossed my cookies in front of my co-workers to the list!

It appears to me that I am on a roll of sorts. I think it's time I stop "rolling" and come to a dead STOP! I'm afraid of what embarrassing moment is lurking around the bend!

So, since I am confined to my bed, feeling sorry for myself of course, and needing a distraction and a few laughs....I pose a question to you my fellow Streamers. Ready??

Tell me one or two of your most embarrassing moments! Come on...share a little with a sick whiny girl, who is in dire need of a giggle. I am sure I can't be the only one out there having these "special" moments. I don't want to hog them. That would be selfish and down right rude.

So, if you have any stories to share...I'd love to hear them.

Gotta go blow my nose and turn off the ceiling fan. It's starting to feel like a tornado is in the cave! I might blow away. Now that would suck!

Take care Ya'll.

AM

I'm sick today.

I am quite certain that I look as bad as I feel.

I woke up this morning and was not feeling too hot. I figured it was just because I was tired. So, I took DB to school and then headed into the office.

I was sitting at my desk when all of the sudden I knew that I was going to be "sick". It seemed to come out of nowhere!

I dashed out of my office, scared the hell out of my assistant as I flew past her, and was praying that I would just make it to the bathroom.

You know the feeling I am talking about. You know you are going to be sick, and there's nothing you can do about it other than hope you make it safely to the restroom.

I was literally running down the hall, hand cupped over my mouth, and it seemed as if the bathroom was on the other side of the world!

And just as I see the door I lost my "cookies". It was like a bad flashback to grade school days. There I was standing in the hallway heaving and all I can hear behind me and in front of me is, "Oh GAWD!" and "AM is sick". I want to die.

Lost my lunch in the hallway at the office. Right there in front of God and everybody. Way to go AM!

It's always best to have an audience when you puke your guts out!

I stepped into the restroom and started drowning my face in the sink. My assistant busted through the door and she had a look of horror and concern on her face.

Asst: AM, My God, are you okay??

AM:

Asst.: Don't worry they called someone to clean it up.

AM:

Asst: I think you should go home. You want me to drive you?

AM: Please.

I felt like an idiot, but felt so bad that I was afraid of leaving the restroom. What if I did it again? Man, I will never hear the end of this one. I can hear the taunting already in my fever stricken brain!

So, now I am home. I am sitting in bed with my flannel PJ's wishing for sleep. Yet every time I lay my head down my stomach starts feeling like the raging seas!

So, I'm keeping my laptop company and wishing my Mom was here. I'm 34 years old and right now the only thing I want is my Mommy. Sad huh?

Well, I am going to see what the day time TV has to offer. I'm feeling a bit poopy. I hate being sick....and when I do get sick I turn into a big whiny baby. Shocker huh?

Hope all is well in Blogger Land.

Dear Streamers:

Ok, I am coming to you for a little advice in the romance department. I was going to write Dear Abby again, but apparently when you send 100 letters a week, they send you something called a restraining order.

So maybe ya'll can help a girl out???

"R" and I were at dinner Saturday night with mutual friends. They are all excited we are finally dating. Man, they have wanted us to date for 6 years. But my friends are absolute smart assess. If you think I am bad... hang out with my buddies for a night.

So we were sitting at dinner and my best friend Rob decides to pipe into the conversation of "R" and I dating.

Rob: Hey "R" if you can get this girl to settle down I'll take you to Vegas for the weekend all expenses paid."

Everyone at the table giggles, including me.

Alex: No doubt. AM is like the male version of us.

At this point the wine comes spewing out of my nose.

AM: Shut up. I am not like ya'll. I don't date 5 people at a time and sleep with anything that has a pulse.

Rob: No, you are right. You just lure them in until you hear "I love you" and then you become the run away girlfriend.

I want to take my California Roll and catapult it across the table at his smug face.

"R" is laughing with everyone else, but he's squeezing the hell out of my leg under the table.

The jokes continue. I laugh, but on the inside I want to scream.

We leave dinner and nothing is said. Just another night with the village idiots.

Well, Sunday night "R" comes over for dinner and so that we can watch the Sopranos. We had just sat down on the couch, and my ears perk up as I hear "Woke up this morning...." start to blast from the TV.

That's when it started.

R: You know that conversation we had the other night?

AM: No. (When all else fails play dumb!)

R: At the restaurant...remember?

AM: Oh yeah.

I am trying not to look at the TV, but I just want to hang out and watch TV. I do not want to have a deep talk.

R: I mean, I know you and you know me, but it's different right?

AM: Of course it is.

This is the problem. Dating someone you have been friends with for 6 years is "different". They already know you, know all about you. Hell we have nursed each other through break-ups, family problems, jobs, etc.. He knows me. And somehow all of those things we knew about each other are suddenly different now. They somehow mean more now.

R: I know in the past you have been scared, but we aren't going to be like that right?

I can look at his face and see the worry. I fumble for words that simply are not there. This guy knows that I have walked away from past relationships because I have the Great Wall of China built up around this heart. I can't lie my way out of this one.

It wasn't an issue before, but now that we are dating it seems to be an issue.

AM: No it will be different.

I reach across the couch and hug him. As if this silent gesture will somehow erase his fears and reassure him that there is nothing to worry about.

But I wonder the entire time that I am embracing him if he can feel the uncertainty in my touch. Does he sense the fear that is oozing out of every pore in my body?

Ok, maybe I do have commitment issues. Maybe I left my last relationship because I got scared. Maybe I am a female version of my guy friends. Maybe I am just not good at this stuff.

I mean I want to be with someone. I love the wonderful things relationships bring. I don't want to end up being an old woman with a bunch of cats.

Why is it that I can speak to room of hundreds of people for work without even a butterfly, but if you put me into a conversation with a man I am dating and I sink faster than the Titanic!


I don't want "R" to worry about the past. I love being with him, he makes me so very happy. I feel like myself around him, and maybe it is because he knows so much about me. Maybe it is because I can be myself.

But I fear if I do not find the words to bring up this topic that is worrying him that it will be a damaging blow. I want to just spill my guts, but I always stop. I always have in the past. And the words I so long to say get lost...lost into the black hole or lost in translation.

Right now as I write this he is on his way to California. He will not be back until Friday. I want to call him tonight and just spill it all. But how can I convince a man who has known me for so long and seen first hand my dating life, that this time will be different. And will it? I mean can I really offer up that guarantee?? Can any of us???

I want to do this the right way, but I must admit...I am not sure what the hell the "right" way is sometimes. Do I leave this one alone for a while and let it play out? Or do I do what I fear most...and address it head on?? How do you get around all the things you already know about someone's past in the dating arena? Do you leave it alone, or do you talk about it??

I'm sinking here. I am lost. And I know if it's bothering me this much that I need to do something about it. I guess I am just scared. I don't want to ever be considered the "female" version of my guy friends. I am so much more than that. Sadly I am just a scared wuss when it comes to matters of the heart.

Why does it have to be so freakin' difficult???

Well, we already know how fond I am of Mondays. I'm apparently so fond of them that I want them to last FOREVER!

Yup, it's about 10:30 PM here in Big D, and I just got home from work about an hour ago. I feel so happy I should be skipping!

It's going to be a long week people. If today is any indication of what lies ahead....well, I think I might just be screwed.

I have a big deadline and since I chose to have a life over the weekend (I'm truly a selfish girl) today I paid the price for not working through the weekend. Yay me!

"R" brought me dinner tonight at work. He's such a sweetheart. Still wondering what the hell I did to find a guy so thoughtful. Pinch me please! Am I dreaming?? Could be.

We had a long talk last night. I hate long relationship talks. They just....well, they just suck. It wasn't a bad talk....it was just a serious talk. I don't always do "serious" well, and often I think this unsettles those around me.

Plus the timing of this serious talk was not the best. The Sopranos were on...and I missed it. I know, I know...go ahead call me shallow. Tell me I'm an idiot. But quite honestly I'd rather have a bikini wax, or eat dirt to not have "those" conversations. And I wonder why I am still single??? Not too hard to figure out is out?

I am too tired to go into it tonight. Maybe I will write about it tomorrow as I could use a little unbiased advice. What's new huh?

Anyway, it's just been a while since I was dating anyone seriously, and I guess I forgot some of the basics in regards to what that entails. I have a lot to learn...lots and lots to learn. And we all know what a quick study I am!

Well, I'm not much for writing tonight. My brain is so tired that I think it fell asleep on me hours ago. Going to head out into the stream and catch up with you guys. I promise to have something better to fill this space with tomorrow. Unless the office idiots kidnap me again and chain me to my desk...depriving me of what I hear is a life.

Take care out there in Blogger Land.