I stumbled across this picture today, and I just had to share it with ya'll! This sums up how I have felt all week long!



And because I have been dealing with "those" people all week long I was thinking I should follow the advice of this sign, before I GO CRAZY and do something I might regret!



Hope everyone has a great Friday night! I'm off to go get ready for my date with Mr. Eye Candy! Toodles!

Okay, Doodle Bug is officially banned from accepting anymore gifts from Grandma!

Grandma gave Doodle Bug Window Markers this past weekend. She thought it'd be a great way for Doodle Bug to express her creative talents (in a washable way) after the whole painting fiasco!

This is great in theory. I STRESS the word theory folks!

This would be great in theory if Doodle Bug had not used said markers on every window pane and mirror in the house. And much to my dismay the car windows as well! Heaven forbid they feel left out!

This would be great in theory if Doodle Bug had not written the same thing on each window pane......

Momma is a Big Poopy Turd!

This would be great in theory if she had spelled the word "Turd" correctly. Instead it's "Teard"!

This would be great in theory had she not illustrated above mentioned statement with what resembles a "Turd" with stick legs and what I am hoping are eyes!

This would be great in theory had my employees not come to my office to share the following conversation:

Guys: AM, we have a gift for you.

AM: No thanks. No gift needed here.

Guys: Come on, this will make your day.

AM: *shaking head*

Guys present to me what appears to be a prune, with tooth picks for legs, and a little sign that reads: Little Poopy "Teard"!

AM: *Gasp*

Guys:

AM: OH GAWD! How in the world did you know about this?

Guys: AM, the car wash is your friend. You should visit it every once in a while.

AM:

Guys: We figured that Momma Poopy "Teard" would be lonely without Baby Poopy "Teard"!

AM:

Guys: *Giggle* *Giggle*

The misspelling of this word seems to amuse these brainless twits all the more!

Just freakin' great! It's not bad enough that "Dan", my client brought the fish in this week. I've been hearing the lame fish jokes all week.

Staff: Something smells fishy, Nah it's just AM!

Staff: Hey AM whatcha have for dinner last night? Never mind your breath gives it away!

Staff: Hey AM, you know what they say....smells like fish, taste like chicken!

AM:

Somebody just shoot me! Now I am going to be known as the "Fish Lady" and a Big Poopy "Teard"! How many miles are they going to get out of this one????

Night Bug, I know I vowed that I wouldn't do this after my bad karma return last week, but I have to. I fear "Big Boy Bear" is going to make his evil return to office society tomorrow! I am determined to spend the rest of my night plotting my evil plan. I know I shall kick my own ass next week, but I have to get the heat off myself. I fear they have been given way too much ammo this week.

Well, Little Poopy "Teard" needs to eat.

Big Momma Poopy "Teard" out!

This is my life people. Someone please send help soon. Pretty, pretty please!

Well, well....

I had a great night. I mean it could not have gone any better. There's nothing the office idiots can do to ruin my mood today! Bring it on!

"Adam" and I had a groovy night together! It was just peachy!
*doing Pee-Wee Herman dance*

First of all he and I have already gone out a few times. We've always had a good time. But the past few weeks as ya'll know have been a bit on the insane side! Just a wee bit! So, I had not seen him, but we have been talking.

"Adam" is adorable. He's sweet and so funny. He and I share the exact sense of humor. Scary isn't it? I know.

He showed up last night looking yummy as always. "Adam" is about 6 feet tall, dark hair and eyes, and the boy has a smile that can melt butter! Man, there is nothing better than a boy with a beautiful smile! *fanning myself*

He showed up with a bottle of wine, and a gift; one of the most thoughtful gifts a "boy" has ever given me.

I'm an avid reader. A complete book worm geek! Most of the guys I have dated stopped reading when they graduated college. Or the extent of their reading was the current issue of Maxim whilst they sat on the throne!

"Adam" brought me a book. I know it sounds nerdy, but it's so cool. I had told him on our first date about my favorite author. I mentioned it in passing. Well, he brought me a collection of this authors work!

This is so cool for many reasons. First of all it's just plain thoughtful. Second of all it means he actually pays attention when I talk! Yay! Someone actually listens when I speak....you wouldn't know it if you spent a day with me up here at the office from HELL! So anywho, Adam started the night out on a great note. The boy could do no wrong!

We spent the night (until 2 a.m.) drinking wine and talking. There were times I was laughing so hard I was afraid I'd wet my britches! That might have put an end to the night! LOL!

It was just easy hanging out with him. Some people just have a way of making you feel comfortable. "Adam" has that way.

And the boy is an amazing kisser! The kind of boy you could kiss for hours or days even!!!!! I love a good kisser. It's oh so important.

Can't date a bad kisser. *shaking my head* And we've all had one or two of those right? You know the kisser who sticks their tongue so far down your throat it's as if they are checking to see what you ate for breakfast! I've even had a "kisser" who would randomly lick my face! Ewww!

No, at my age, good kissing is a must. Lack of this talent has kicked many a date to the curb. I know...it sounds mean....but sorry I cannot budge on this requirement!

It was a great night. Grown up conversation (thought I'd lost that ability), lots of laughing (been in dire need of this!), lots of good kissing (man, it's been too long), and all in all a great night, with a great boy!

I've been afraid to get back into the dating scene. I didn't want to admit it, but I was. And now I'm asking myself...

Self....WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING???? *smacking myself*

Going out with "Adam" tomorrow night. Not sure yet what we will do, but I don't really care. It's time I get off my ass, and start enjoying some time with the opposite sex again. It's been too damn long!

Well, I survived my day amongst the mindless! It's more than a mere miracle...it's truly an act of God!

Man, I don't know what was up today. Did someone put something in the water cooler? Or perhaps aliens came this morning and kidnapped all of my employees and replaced them with wind up robots, but never wound them up? Could be. It's a mystery.

All I know is that I left the office and didn't look back...not even a glance! Don't look into the light, AM! Run, run! Save yourself!

Now, I am sitting outside, sipping a very nice glass of wine, and becoming one with the birds and the trees! Now this is what it's all about. The moment in your day when you can finally relax.... breathe in and OUT!

Doodle Bug is at Grandma's tonight! Double Yay Me! Quiet. Oh, how I love the quiet.

And get this....I actually invited a Boy over tonight! A real live boy!

So, I get some peace and quiet, some pretty eye candy (he's a yummy man) and grown up conversation! OH MY GAWD! What will I do with myself?? Somebody pinch me! My body and mind might go into shock! I might end up acting like a rambling babbling idiot! Well, I do that anyway! LOL

So, the day started out like an episode of WWIII, but it is ending on a much sweeter note! The only thing that might make this night better would be if it was FRIDAY night! But this will do just fine.

Hope everyone out there has a great night! Take care out there in Blogger Land! Wish me luck with Mr. Eye Candy!

I need a vacation.

I want to call the makers of Survivor and beg them to send me to Exile Island!

I'm sitting in my office with the door closed. I do not think I will venture out again today. I've informed my assistant that if anyone inquires to my whereabouts to tell them the Jedi Masters came and took me away to fulfill my true calling!

Man, it would be so cool to have a Light Saber! *humming Star Wars theme* However, I'm sure if I owned one I'd be serving a life sentence, in some back woods Texas jail, sharing a cell with Bubba by now!

That might not be so bad today!

What is up with the people around me? Did someone offer a reward to anyone who could drive me CRAZY!?!

It wasn't bad enough that I had to work up here until 8 last night because some of my staff had completely dropped the ball last week while I was out. NO! I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off while they were arguing about where they'd go for lunch and happy hour.

I believe they are secretly plotting to put an end to my sanity. So I called a staff meeting this morning. This was about as fun as jabbing a pencil in my eye!

AM: Okay guys it's come to my attention that we are a little behind on a few projects. I need status reports people.

Staff:

AM: Can anyone update me on project A?

Staff:

AM: Ok, how about project B?

Staff:

AM: How about someone giving me updates on where we are at for our presentation for the upcoming sales meeting?

Staff:

They look around nervously at each other. There are a few mumbles...is that English? Are they speaking Pig Latin? Am I talking to my 8 year old?

AM:

AM: How about ya'll tell me where you are FREAKING going to eat lunch today! I bet someone knows the answer to that one!

My GAWD! What did they do last week while I was out? I imagine it resembled college kids on Spring Break. Or a bad episode of the Real World!

AM: Ok, okay. *trying to keep my cool* You each have until you leave today to submit to me in writing WHERE THE HELL WE ARE ON THESE PROJECTS! Today people, not tomorrow, not next week. I'm quite certain if you pull your brains together, you'll have one brain among you. That should assist you in GIVING ME what I need!

Staff:



I dismissed my brainless wonders. I feared massive carnage had I not walked away. No one had anything to say. I've closed my office door. I'm certain I have a slight concussion from beating my head against the desk! Is it normal to be seeing little blue spots everywhere??

I refuse to open this door. Let them fend for themselves. I'm not babysitting today. HR is going to have to find a nanny replacement! And they better warn him/her that baby-sitting these brainiacs will require lots of booze and a healthy supply of valium!

Exile Island here I come!